Sex after your pregnancy

After about 9 months of pregnancy, you will hopefully have one or maybe even more healthy babies in your arms. The period after the birth of a baby is often a time of great change, both physically and emotionally. In addition to adjusting to parenthood, a lot also changes in the area of ​​intimacy and sexuality. Sex after pregnancy can be exciting, but often also brings with it uncertainties. What can you expect? And how can you navigate this new phase in your relationship?

Physical and emotional recovery

After giving birth, your body needs to recover, and that takes time. Whether you had a vaginal birth or a c-section, your body has gone through an intense process.

In addition to the physical changes, the emotional aspect also plays a major role. The birth of a baby can cause feelings of happiness, fatigue, overwhelm and sometimes even fear.

Many new mothers experience a decrease in sex drive, which can be due to fatigue, hormones, or the new responsibilities of parenthood. This is normal and often goes away with time. Communication with your partner is key to relieving any tensions around this.

When is it time?

Doctors often advise waiting until after your first check-up (about six weeks after giving birth) before resuming sexual activity to avoid complications such as infection. Ultimately, you are the one who decides when you are ready again. It is normal to need a few weeks or months to feel ready for sex again. Don’t put pressure on yourself, it will only be counterproductive.

How do you start again?

Are you ready to start having sex or intimacy again? Here are some tips to help you get back on track, or even all the way:

• Take your time : Your body and mind need time to recover. Don't force anything. It's okay to wait until you feel truly ready.
• Be open about your feelings : Talk to your partner about how you are feeling, both physically and emotionally. This can help foster mutual understanding and patience.
• Use lubricant : Hormonal changes after childbirth can lead to vaginal dryness. A good lubricant can significantly increase comfort. Don't be stingy and use as much as feels good.
• Expect it to feel different : Your body has changed, and that’s okay. Sex may feel different, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be any less satisfying. Give it time to rediscover what works for you.
• Try other forms of intimacy : Sex isn't just about penetration. There are a lot of other things you can do to increase intimacy and your sex drive.

Other forms of intimacy

There are many different forms of intimacy. Think of cuddling or kissing, spooning to sleep or holding hands. To help your creativity along, we share some more ideas with you.

One important “rule” when you get started: don’t put pressure on yourself. Discuss with your partner that you’ll try an idea, as long as it’s fun for both of you. If it turns out to be more, that’s a nice bonus.

1. Massage . Get a massage, but also massage your partner. You get and you give something, that is a beautiful form of intimacy. You can use your hands or a massage vibrator . A nice massage oil is always recommended.
   
   
2. Stimulate one of the many erotic zones . In addition to the more well-known erogenous zones, such as the clitoris, the G-spot and the anus, there are many more zones that can lead to arousal. Think of the inside of the thighs, nipples or the neck. Maybe you already know what your erogenous zones are, maybe not. In the latter case, this is a good time to do some exploring. You do this by asking your partner to caress you, massage you (possibly with a mini vibrator ) or perhaps gently squeeze you all over your body. Does something not feel good? Leave that spot as it is and continue the search.
   
   
3. Talk about your best, most enjoyable or hottest lovemaking together. Sharing a nice memory connects you. It can also be very exciting. You know how hot things can get between you; remember that when sharing memories. Such a nice lovemaking session will definitely happen again.
   
   
4. Besides sharing a memory, you can also share a fantasy . Does it seem fun to both of you? Then put it on the 'to do' list. Something else to look forward to.
   
   
5. Are you looking forward to penetration , but is it still painful or is it not working for some other reason? Do it in steps . Start with one finger, then two, etc. Or try it with a vibrator first . Again: use lubricant to make it more comfortable.
   
   
6. First, discover for yourself . People who masturbate regularly know better what they like. First discover for yourself what you like and what you don't. Do you like masturbating? As an intermediate step to playing together, you can masturbate while your partner watches or masturbate at the same time.

Communication = key

Sex after pregnancy is a unique experience for every couple. The most important thing is to be patient and understanding, both for yourself and your partner. Don’t expect everything to be the same as before right away. It takes time to find your rhythm again, both physically and emotionally.

Communication is key at this stage. By being open about your concerns, expectations and feelings, you and your partner can find a new balance in your sexual relationship. Sex after giving birth may be different, but that doesn’t mean it has to be any less intimate or satisfying.